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Autumn Whimper 5

October 26, 2013

October 26th
11:41 P.M.

I wonder if he would let me wear his hat if I asked him. I’ve always wanted a hat like that.
My rifle bounces in my lap as we hit a deep rut in the trail.
“Here you are, sir.” says my hunting guide. What a surprise!
He hands me his pith helmet and I put it on. This is great!

I look up to my hunting guide and I notice he has a replacement hat planted on his head already. Oh, good, he had a spare. I wonder if he’ll let me keep it…
“Hang onto it, sir.” he says.
Oh, man! Yeah!

We hit another deep hole in the road and I’m tossed from the back of the jeep.
It knocks the air out of me, and scrapes up my elbow pretty bad, but I’m alright.
“Hey! Guide-man!” I shout.
The rumble of the jeep’s engine continues to grow more faint in the distance.
What is he doing?
I start running.
“Hey!” I shout.
This sucks.

I look around at the wilderness around me. I don’t remember the way back.
I’m sure if I follow the road it’ll take me there.

After a few dozen yards, I hear a rustling in the brush to my right, and I raise my rifle to it.
A low pitched growl starts. Whatever, man. It’s my safari.
I fire my gun and the growl is cut short.
Yes sir. Nailed it.

I start walking down the path again, and make it a short ways before I hear a guttural shriek behind me.
Uh oh!
I begin running at full sprint. I could turn and shoot, right? I don’t know if I’d get the shot off or not.
I hear the hard smack of large feet or maybe hooves hitting the ground behind me and getting closer.
I run faster.
They continue to grow louder as they close in the distance.
Lame, man.
I duck into the brush to my left and begin weaving between the trees and foliage.
After another minute or two I stop in my tracks.
I don’t hear it.
Totally lost whatever it was. I’m like a Garand, man.

I check my rifle, realizing I hadn’t cycled the chamber since the last round I fired. I do it now.
When I lift my attention to my front once again, I see a shadowy figure leap at me. Surprised, I wake up to see a girl’s face directly in front of me.
Who’s kid is this?
I can’t move.
“…” Not cool, man. I can’t speak.
Her eyes stare down at me as if she’s mad at me for something. Her mouth is wide open for some reason.
This is lame. How did you get in here? Where are your parents?
Does she have me tied down or something?

She leans downward, bringing her angry face closer to mine.
What the heck is she doing? Not cool, man.
Hey, X-Files. Why aren’t you barking? You’re always barking, you stupid dog. Bark now, why don’t you.
The girl’s forehead touches mine, with those angry eyes of hers staring directly into mine.

I’m staring at the ceiling. X-Files is laying in my lap.
I blink a few times before leaning up to look around the room.
That was a weird one.

I stand, nudging X-Files to the floor.
Something about a pith helmet?
I step across the hall into the bathroom on the other side and get a drink of water from the faucet.
Pretty good water.

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